This month is the month for all things, mommas, so what better way to celebrate this month than to have a little girl time with some Mom bosses. Last year and this year, I wanted to make sure I surrounded myself with like-minded individuals—moms who are bosses in their own right and still holding down the fort. For me, this was super important because, after Dallas, I began struggling mentally with who I was and what I wanted to do with my life. I felt so lost and oftentimes questioned my motherhood because of it.

When you become a mother, you change for the better. All things pre-motherhood are basically out the window. From the moment you find out you are pregnant, there is a shift in your mind, body, and soul, which is why it’s important to have a good support system. Although I’m very private I know that I have a good support system when I absolutely am at my breaking point. My good sis Danielle just happens to be someone I know I can go to when I need that reality check moment. Like last week, sis got me all the way together and now I’ve got my second wind. Being the boss that she is, I thought it would be good to have another perspective on how to maintain your identity and career while being a mother.

1. What made you start your own event design business?
Growing up I always enjoyed planning parties or organizing things.  I remember making invitations that I handed out to my family so they would come to my tea parties.  Honestly, it fed my creative spirit and allowed me to pour into others; giving them unforgettable memories.I planned my own wedding in June 2011 and loved it.  When it was all over, I actually felt this sense of emptiness…like, now what am I going to do?  I enjoyed every piece of the planning process and found myself obsessed with the design aspect of it.  After having baby #2, one day I was rocking her to sleep and she just smiled at me.  In that moment, it was like her whole life flashed before my eyes.  I said to myself, “I shouldn’t have to miss these moments.”  Baby in tow, I headed to my computer and created my business.  I literally created my logo, LLC., website, business cards, all in one day.  My husband came home and I said, “We own a business!”  I’ve been grinding ever since.

2.  What would you say to a new mom trying to navigate motherhood and her career?
I would say to give yourself grace.  Realize that you can’t mesh the 2 together and nor should you.  Women are unique creatures in that we are born with instincts that allow us to be hypersensitive to everything around us.  Constantly feeling like we HAVE TO do this, do that, make this, make that, be here, be there, but we don’t ever really master how to turn it on and off.  Dedicate time to each area of your life.  Allow yourself to be present when you are doing a task.  Then once you’re done, give yourself at least 20 – 30 minutes to transition to the next thing.  Make no mistake, it takes practice and discipline, but you will get to a place where you can be the best in both areas.

3. How do you juggle being a wife, mom, and boss?
I will admit this is still a work in progress.  God is working on me with this one.  My time is broken down very strategically.  When I wake up, I’m wearing my mom and wife hat.  I’m getting outfits picked out, doing hair, and washing faces.  I’m up cooking breakfast, coffee and making lunches. Once everyone is out of the house, I shift to boss mode.  From there, I’m making/taking calls, responding to emails, doing venue visits and working with my couples.  Now here’s where the discipline comes in because when that school bus pulls up at 4:00pm, I have to put on my mom hat again.  It’s time to do homework and hear about my children’s day.  If they go play outside with friends, then I can jump back into boss mode.  Once my husband is off then it’s back to wife mode.  I also have to try to build in time for self-care…this is something I’m working on prioritizing.

4. What piece of advice would you give a new mom?
Trust yourself, listen to your body, learn your children and their specific needs.  Go with your gut on most things and you’ll be fine.  Trust that you will know the best thing to do for yourself and your family.  Too often I feel like we as mothers are told to do what someone else thinks is right for us.  Do what’s best for you!  Even if no one else understands it.  If it gets you through the day and happy…keep going sis!  Listen when you body tells you to rest or slow down.  If you don’t, you’ll likely be made to slow down…at the hospital…and nobody wants that.  Learn your children.  This is so important to learn because everything becomes easier.  Within reason, allow your children to show you who they are.  Then you fill in the gaps where they really need you.  Don’t force a lot.  For example, I have one daughter that is an early bird ( like her mom) and my other daughter is a night owl (like dad).  My night owl has a cut off bedtime, but I don’t make a big deal over how she puts herself to sleep.  She then wakes up well rested when she’s ready and we have a great day.  

5. What is your go to affirmation you think all women/moms should swear by?
I recite to myself frequently, I am purposeful, I am whole, I am healed, I am a child of God.  This has gotten me through so many tough times when I feel like l could just walk away.  Realize that times will be hard, but you were made for this.  Pause for a minute, gather your thoughts, and keep going.  You got this!